Thoughts on Soulmates and Twin Flames

 In Awareness, Desires, Freedom, Happiness, Love, Mindfulness, Philosophy, Relationships

There are many different perspectives around soulmates and twin flames and there is a plethora of information online about these very topics. I’ve received several inquiries about how I met my person, with others referring to her as my soulmate or twin flame. In attempt to answer all questions with a single post, I’ve decided to share my thoughts around those topics, as well as my experiences, in hope that it benefits others.

Love, Self-love

In order to really be open and vulnerable with another, I find a level of self-love to be nearly essential. Otherwise, we end up reacting from emotional triggers due to our insecurities and fears, creating much conflict in the relationship. I see love as infinite expansion, beyond any mental concepts or ideas, and for a long time I desired to experience this with another. I grew up with very little guidance and confidence, so I had to learn how to first treat myself lovingly so I could expand on that with another. A part of this journey led me to utilizing the dream state to channel a “like” partner, one that I aligned with on many levels. This led to a series of events, that eventually resulted in us meeting in person.

My Person

When we met, once our eyes gazed upon each other, it was a knowing on all levels. In the first five days of us being together, we were in a constant state of bliss. Each moment expanding beyond the previous moment. It felt as if we were in the dream state the entire time we were together. I discussed some of this briefly in experiencing the presence of love. What I experienced was the result of two individuals being completely open and present together. This allowed for the energy to bounce and expand between us, higher and higher in every moment. We continue to share many amazing experiences together, in the dream state and waking state. More to come on those experiences. A key point I want to emphasize here is the potential available to us, as we question our stories and go beyond our limiting beliefs.

Many desire a deep love, but very few are willing to show up and create such an experience. It requires a willingness to let go, be completely open, vulnerable and present with another.

Stories and beliefs

There is a perspective about twin flames; that suggests the soul splits into two different beings. These two physical beings then spend lifetimes searching for each other. This implies that the soul, a stream of consciousness, can be split in two. As we question stories like this we go beyond the ego, the mind of beliefs. Stories like this become food for attachment and limitations. Love from this state of mind, becomes more of an infatuation, an idea, an egoic attachment. More importantly, it implies that we are incomplete as we are, requiring another to be whole. This is a sure path to conflict, triggering, and pain. The challenge with beliefs such as these is that it becomes difficult to ever be completely open, vulnerable, and present with another.

My perception of twin flames; they are an inward balance and unification of the self. In other words, it’s all about the self and has nothing to do with another! I see it as the self becoming one with what-is, balancing the feminine and masculine energies while releasing inner conflict. We’ve become conditioned to look for the meaning of things externally versus an inward reflection of the self. Stories passed down through the ages were often very metaphorical, told in a format that they could be remembered and passed down, to invoke an inner dialogue with the self for expansion. My idea of a soulmate is very similar. Again, it’s about going within and becoming one with the self. It’s the end of seeking externally for completion and actually becoming complete with the self. We do this by falling completely in love with the self, which connects us to the very depths of our being. From there, we are able to see with more clarity, so that we can create a deep and fulfilling relationship with another.


Our attachments lead us to unconscious patterns that are driven from fear, often causing us to self-sabotage our desires. It becomes very limiting, but if we remain open enough to inquire, it can lead us deep within ourselves to understanding. Are you curious if you’re attached? You can test this by releasing the belief that your current partner is your soulmate (or twin flame), and if your mind freaks out then you know you are attached! On the other hand if you let go of that concept and you still feel love and freedom, then you know you’re not attached. The benefit here is that as we release attachment, we find the peace to expand freely and are no longer controlled by our underlying fears. This is universal with any belief that we cling to; as we question and release, we find freedom, as we cling onto them we find ourselves a prisoner in our own mind.

No stories, only alignment

Through conditioning, we attach to (and thereby repeat) stories that limit our expansion and experiences. For example, there is a vast difference between “desiring” to be with someone and feeling like you “have” to be with someone. One is more about the freedom of expression, where the other becomes more about attachment, and codependency. Attachment brings us down a path of inner conflict that belittles our self-worth, eventually leading to dis-ease in the body. Often people will remain in a toxic relationship due to a story or belief that they need to be together. Stories like this, cause us to place our power outside of the self. We lack love within, and attempt to fill that void through external sources. It all comes back to the stories that we tell and the limitations they impose. Do you love yourself? By love, I’m referring to complete and unconditional acceptance of all aspects of the self. If not, that is the place to start before seeking out another.

Expanding with you

If you’re in an existing relationship and wish to improve it, redirect your attention and focus on you loving and accepting you. This will change everything, as long as you remain independent of any particular outcome. If we are attached to a particular outcome, change then becomes temporary and we do not go deep enough into our self-love. A good question to ponder on, “Am I free in my heart to be open and loving to myself in this moment?”. If not, then you know you have some changes to make. Broaden your perspective and really look at yourself and how you are treating your inner being. Ask yourself if are you ready to let go, to release all that is hurting you? If not, that just means there is a deeper level of understanding for you to grasp. If you are ready to release it, then you’ll find yourself more able to embrace the necessary changes that better your life. Inner conflict then becomes a thing of the past. The choice is yours and there is much freedom and beauty in that. It places all the power in your life back to you.

Until Next time,

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