What is Your Story?
The stories we tell ourselves define our life. Most of these stories are the result of painful experiences from our past. We end up reliving the pain when we repeat the stories with emotion. For whatever we give attention to expands in our life. Often this consists of an unconscious dialogue of inner chatter which comes out in the stories that we tell. In some cases we attach to the stories and labels as part of our identity, completely missing the limitations it creates in our life.
My (old) story
As discussed in a previous post, Parenting Tips for ADHD, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety, dyslexia and ADHD (or ADD depending on the DR) as a child. I was tested from ages 5 to around 13. As I look back on my challenges now, it makes sense with the struggles I had, growing up as an empath in an environment filled with conflict and uncertainty. Around the age 13-14, my parents divorced and we moved. The history around my disabilities was quickly forgotten. I still struggled but it was assumed that I was just rebellious.
I was basically in survival mode for a good portion of my younger years. The beauty of this was that it forced me to release those aspects (dyslexia and ADHD) of my story at an earlier age. The anxiety became so normal to me, I didn’t even realize how much it impacted me until later in life when it started taking a toll on my health. At that point, it drove me into learning more about health, dis-ease and healing the body. The biggest challenge from my struggles was the impact it had on my self-esteem at a very early age. A low self-esteem perpetuates the cycles of abuse, which is often an inward dialogue (and feeling) that suffocates our joy.
I was also in several accidents (automobile and farm) from ages 15-20ish. Looking at it now, I can see how there was a part of me that wanted to check out of this life. It wasn’t until later that I realized how the stories we tell ourselves create beliefs that play out in our lives. In short, what we believe – we experience. When studying hypnosis I could put myself into a trance of fear or peace, and whatever trance (belief) I chose, I experienced fully as though it was completely real. So whatever you’re feeling, its valid, EMBRACE it. That is a part of being loving and authentic to yourself. Then work through it while remaining open to releasing, so that you can shift beyond.
Healing and change
As I mention these things now it feels like a completely different life. The challenges I had helped me understand the power of a disciplined mind and our abilities to heal. This also ignited a passion for helping others. For myself, it was learning how to heal and reclaim my power by going within for the solutions. I find much importance in being open to the input of others (when applicable), but my decisions are solely based on my own inner guidance. Our intuition has great guidance and is ALWAYS accurate for the self when we learn how to tap into it and listen. A daily practice of meditation greatly aids with this process.
Awareness and stories
The point of mentioning my past story is to stress the importance around the stories we tell ourselves and how they impact our life. For example, I was in approximately 10 accidents over a period of 5-6 years during my teens. For most of these I was a passenger and the story revolved around me being unlucky and in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, as my story changed, I became accident free and have been for many years. I also managed to heal the pain points that would flare up and cause me to be down for days. I did this by going within to change the impressions, and this started by changing my stories, which led to other changes in my life. There is an alignment between the thoughts we think (mostly unconscious) and our experiences in life. Meditation helps bring awareness to the unconscious for these changes.
There is much importance in reflecting on the stories we tell ourselves. Any story backed with emotion leads to the belief of it which then expresses itself in our life. Often these stories are the product of painful impressions from past experiences. This causes us to relive the past over and over in our mind, making it very challenging to be present and enjoy life. By learning how to silence our mind we can stop the inner chatter and make the necessary changes. It is much easier to change the direction of our thoughts with a quiet mind than it is to change a mind that is not at ease.
How do we expect to grow out of something that we continue to hold onto? As discussed in The Victim Mentality Trap, in order to heal we must be willing to move beyond the victim mindset. This means accepting responsibility for the present moment while we process and release the past emotion. In doing this, we heal and reclaim our power. Anytime I discuss my past (which is very seldom as I no longer identify with it), I find myself free from the emotion of it. It feels as though I am talking about a different person, a different life. As we heal, process, and release the emotion, the past begins to feel very foreign to us.
When we release the stories we also release the associated limitations. For example, I used to think that I struggled with the ability to focus and concentrate. In order for me to outgrow that, I had to start by releasing the story. As we do this the lesson is revealed and the challenge (or disability) becomes something of the past, and often turns into a strength. Now I can say with confidence that anything I need to do, I’m able to get centered and maintain focus with ease. This started by a change in my story, which led to an expansion of my awareness. Through awareness we open the doors to unlimited potential.
What stories are you telling yourself? How do you think it is impacting your life? Have you ever tried to do something that you believed you couldn’t do?
Until next time,