Does She Feel Safe with You?
Emotional safety is a key component for a relationship to flourish. Without a sense of feeling safe with one another, both parties dance in conflict unable to recognize the core issue. It’s believed that women desire (or even require) a sense of safety in a relationship (men as well). If a woman doesn’t feel safe it can lead to triggering her fight-or-flight response placing her body in a high state of stress. This leads to emotional and physical distress, vastly impacting the dynamics of the relationship.
It’s important for both parties to be (and remain) open in the relationship. This encourages open communication allowing you to work through things and be vulnerable with one another. If there are certain topics that can’t be discussed then the relationship is already in jeopardy. If both parties remain open, then anything can be discussed and worked through. Being open fosters a deeper love and encourages growth in the relationship. This leads to a deeper connection and encourages vulnerability in the relationship.
When it comes to love, not everyone is open to a deeper (unconditional) love and the very act of it can trigger your partner. So it’s important to have a mutual alignment on how each party views love. Self-love is crucial here, for when we have not learned to love and appreciate our self, we tend to project onto our partners causing us to be more conditional, controlling and critical of another. Unconditional love, that is complete appreciation and acceptance of yourself, must start within to express it with another. As we embrace ourselves unconditionally we become more willing to be open and vulnerable with another. This act of being open and vulnerable unites the partnership allowing for a deeper connection to flourish. This is key for understanding and embracing love without fear.
The power of listening
It’s not about fixing a problem but hearing each other without interruptions. For guys this can be challenging as we immediately want to provide advice or attempt to fix the problem. When it comes to relationships there is rarely anything ever to be fixed. The implications of that alone can vastly impact the relationship. The best thing a man can do is really listen to his partner, feel every part of her as she expresses herself. Being present is key for this. By listening to our partner we nourish the connection and encourage vulnerability in the relationship.
The inner experience
As the saying goes, words don’t teach experiences do. Sometimes the best thing one can do is hold the space for another by relaxed breathing, connection and silence. Connect with your partner in calmness and they will feel that presence. To many words has the potential to flag the inner critic or trigger emotional wounds. One of the best things one can do for another is bring them into silence, helping them to feel safe. This helps guide them into an experience, and its the experience that leads to transformation, opening the doors to healing any wounds that may arise.
It’s really about being and connecting here. A result of giving yourself completely to her as she reciprocates the same back to you. This very act of giving nourishes the connection with your partner and allows for her to feel safe, heard and validated. This fosters growth and encourages unconditional love in the relationship. What are you doing to reassure your partner?
Until next time,