The Perfect Relationship
The other day I was discussing with a friend what a perfect relationship is to me and the possibilities of creating that with another. What is a perfect relationship to you? To me, a perfect relationship is where two individuals come together fully embracing each other as they are, both willing to be completely open and vulnerable.
In order to do this, both parties must have processed and released all past pain so they can be free from old wounds and baggage. This allows both parties to remain fully open for a deeper connection without fear, worry, and emotional triggers.
Happiness, an inside job
True genuine happiness can only come from within our self. The challenge is that many people look for a partner to make them happy and then project their pain onto them when they fail to achieve this impossible task. Take the necessary time to do the inner work to heal and release all past pain. In doing this you become complete (and happy) as you are and then a partner becomes a compliment to your life and not a necessity.
Honest and authentic communication
Another key component to creating the perfect relationship is being fully honest and authentic with yourself and your partner. This means no secrets or lies, being completely open and willing to discuss anything. If there are certain conversations that are “off the table”, it will only create distance in the relationship. Question and reflect on those things and communicate with your partner. Conflict may happen, but we can still choose to respond versus react. When we are free from the pains of the past we are more present and able to respond.
It amazes me how often we confuse love with control and conditions. Control leads to resistance, which breeds conflict. If we are attempting to control another that is not love, but rather manipulation. These behaviors suppress your partner and impacts the relationship, often leading to more parent-like dynamics. Release the desire to control your partner and instead embrace them for who they are, always.
Love from within
In order to truly love another we must start with loving and accepting our self to avoid projecting any fears or insecurities. This is achieved by dropping into the silence and fully and unconditionally embracing all aspects of yourself. By accepting and expressing yourself honestly and authentically you awaken a deep love within. This ‘awakening’ is the source of true confidence and faith in your abilities, which is independent of circumstances or things.
What love is
As discussed in True Love, love is infinite freedom and expansion. It is what we are at the core of our being, the spark that ignites us. As we experience this within we realize love is not something to be contained or controlled but rather embraced, so we can grow and expand with it. The minute we try to control or contain it, we move out of the heart and into the mind vastly limiting our experience.
Real love does not increase or decrease. It is love without attachment. It does not overflow when someone offers praise nor does it turn hostile towards the one who insults. It is this love that sees the world as flawless.
As you embrace unconditional love within yourself and then find a partner who does the same, you experience something very deep and very real.
Until next time,